Andrea Kane, is a pilates instructor, massage therapist and coach living with Rheumatoid arthritis. She’s an amazing example of how you can build a business that relies on your body even when experiencing chronic health issues.
Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode
- Andrea’s health journey
- What you may misunderstand about Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Doing physical work with Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Importance of having a positive outlook
Connect with Andrea
Website: https://www.andreakane.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/powerfulandrea/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liveboldlywithoutapology
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-obPIxEA4oMUP4KrqQ8Oww/
Connect with Nicole
Website: http://www.theresilientva.com
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/theresilientva
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/spooniepreneurcommunity
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wnicoleneer/
Nicole: 00:02 Hey everybody, and welcome to the Spooniepreneur Podcast. I’m Nicole Neer, an online business manager living with Fibromyalgia and Bipolar Disorder. On this podcast, I’m going behind the scenes in my business and talking to other Spooniepreneurs to get real about what it looks like to be an entrepreneur and living with chronic illness to inspire you to start the business of your dreams no matter what life throws your way.
So a lot of my Spooniepreneur friends, we all have kind of stationary jobs. So for example, I’m an online business manager, so I sit at my desk or my bed or my favorite chair every day. It’s do my work. But I know that there are Spoonepreneurs out there who are health coaches or personal trainers or who have another job that requires them to be really active. And so that’s why I am so excited to be chatting with Andrea Kane today.
Nicole: 00:58 Andrea is one of my favorite Spooniepreneurs. She’s amazing. And this interview is really going to make you laugh, and it’s really gonna make you think. Andrea is a Pilates instructor, a massage therapist, and a coach living with rheumatoid arthritis. She is an absolutely amazing example of how you can build a business that relies on your body, even when you’re experiencing chronic health issues. I cannot wait for you to hear Andrea’s take on how her condition affects her life, her relationships, and her business. So let’s dive right in. Hey everybody, I am here with Andrea Kane. How are you Andrea?
Andrea: 01:38 Lovely, how are you? I’m good.
Nicole: So let’s start with just chatting about your health journey.
Andrea: Jumping right into it. Okay, so this is 2019 so since December, so long story short, I guess since 2010, it was about a six-month window where weird things were going on. Like would wake up in the middle of the night and an arm would be numb or I it was, and it all started in, in the middle of the night. It was all things in the night. A knee would go out in the middle of my walk, like just these weird things started going on and then I went on a trip by myself and I remember I was doing water aerobics and then my right arm just totally stopped moving altogether. And I remember thinking, Oh God, I’m glad I’m in the pool instead of the ocean, cause now I won’t die.
Andrea : 02:52 So when I got back, go to the GP, okay. It’s probably work-related, you know, cause I’m a massage therapist. Did the PT, didn’t really get better, sends me to an orthopedic surgeon, he puts me on a seven-day pack of prednisone, everything clears up. So I’m like, Oh, I’m good. One day can’t move. So everything was not good. And he said, just very matter of factly, I was 37, he’s like, you’re gonna have to go to rheumatologist. And all I knew about a rheumatologists was it was an old people doctor is what I thought. So I spent time crying in his office.
Andrea: 03:40 I go to UCSE, I see a fellow who had no bedside manner and she just says this is exact. Are you done having kids? Because we’re going to have to put you on methotrexate. And I just start crying and I’m like, hello, well I came in here because my arm is numb and now, I mean, I was done with kids, but that was the start of my journey. I was my diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis and it was awful and horrible. You know, it’s for the first two years because nobody really explained what it, what it meant, that this is a forever thing. I thought I could take these drugs, I could do a few things and things would get better. And it wasn’t, I didn’t get any info, I didn’t get a why, I didn’t get any information.
Andrea: 04:41 So this was probably two years of taking anywhere between 80 to a hundred milligrams of prednisone a day. Just so I could get up and still go to work and mostly function and sulfasalazine. I decided to take all the pills first before the injectables and it was just awful. It was awful. The first really two years were just awful. A lot of self-education, trying to find forums and then not finding my support on the forums. Because I didn’t really want to talk about how awful it is. Like I already know how awful it is. I really wanted to know there was another side, like, okay, maybe it’s awful right now, but maybe there’s something I could do or say, you know, something that would not make it as awful later on. So it’s been an interesting journey, but I will say, I’m way better than I was at the beginning. Way better.
Nicole: So what is something that people seem to misunderstand about RA?
Andrea: “But you’re so young” and then, you know, I don’t have a poker face, so I can’t hide and. And I know it’s coming from a place of concern.
Andrea: 06:26 Or Oh God. Yeah. “My toe hurts”. That’s awesome. Like, I would love for just one toe to hurt. Or just one or two things hurt. But you know, now I’ve come to a very quick like that’s awesome that your toe hurts. But what I have is a degenerative inflammatory condition that literally affects me. Head to toe, organs, bones, ligaments, muscles and all the joints. And then I get the elbow. It’s like, yeah, not your toe, not your toe and its lifetime and no rhyme or reason. You know, you could go to bed awesome and just sleep like nothing else and wake up and you’ve got, like a currently right now. So I’ve got my brace on because something weird is going on with the thumb that wasn’t there yesterday.
Andrea: 07:28 Like I went to my rheumatologist yesterday because both of my shoulders were hurting and my left foot was hurting. Now I wake up, left foot’s not hurting, but the right thumb, you know, it’s like, Oh, okay, and that’s every day. Like every day I put my feet down and it’s like, Oh, okay, what’s gonna work? What’s not gonna work? What are we doing this morning? I think that’s the biggest thing is people think because arthritis is in the word, that is an age-related activity-related. If you just take this turmeric and honey drink every morning, if you go on this diet or stretching thing or read this book. And, and I say that in jest, but I mean I have made lifestyle changes
Andrea: 08:30 and for me, I hear other people may have different, but it’s just the variable of pain. Since the summer of 2010 I have never been completely pain-free. It’s just, are we at two or are we at 200? Because then it’s not really on the list. And there’s just never a time that I don’t have pain and because I am active, it’s like everything doesn’t work for people who have in their mind what a disabled or otherly abled person should look like or act. And then there’s me not wanting to be in the box that you assign what you think, like I have a disabled placard and I use it. And I used to feel really bad about using it because I’m like, well I don’t have a wheelchair.
Andrea: 09:46 Until what happened? I went into a store and then on the way out I used to have problems, knock on wood hasn’t happened, but literally my knees would just lock. And then you’re kind of like a mime. You’re just stuck where you are kind of shuffling along a wall or something. But again, I don’t have a cane. I don’t have a wheelchair, I don’t look disabled. And when that happened, because I didn’t want to be shamed or take what I thought was an actual disabled person’s spot, I had parked way the heck in the back. So it took me, and literally I’m shuffling along and dragging my foot. And I was like, okay, that’s it. I’m not going to be shamed into parking. I don’t feel bad about using it anymore.
Speaker 2: 10:53 Yeah, I think that’s the big miss a lot of people have. Or they’ll say, well, my back hurts. I have arthritis in my back. I don’t have a placard. Okay. Well I do, I’m not gonna argue the levels of pain. It’s not a competition. I think so many times people think that it is like my pain has to be worse than your pain. It’s, it’s not a competition at all and like some justification. And I’ve had some really angry confrontations in the beginning. Usually it was, well, no, it was a man. And a woman. And I just got to the point, I’m like, I’m not arguing with you. Like I’m not, I’m not, I’m not going to participate. And I walk away and now I must either, you know, around me because nobody, knock on wood has bothered me in a really long time.
Andrea: 11:53 And I remember I would put on like more of a limp. And then it was funny because when I think I’m not limping clients will go, Oh, you’re limping. And so I’m like, well, screw it then. I’m not gonna put on a limb every day I live. So this is a thing. The silly things we do to justify what we know is a disability, but so that other people will feel, I don’t know, more than that. And it’s like you look sick, so then you feel like you can own those feelings without having to justify it.
Nicole: 12:35 So tell me about your business.
Andrea: So it’s funny too because I’m a bodyworker. I’m a massage therapist. I’m an esthetician and a Pilates instructor. In the beginning, I was just a massage therapist and I opened my business in 2008 from my house. And then in 2009, the fall is when I actually put my name on a lease and got my own place. And then as luck would have it, six months later I’m in the right. And I just remember at the end of that year, it was Christmas time and I was fully booked and then I had to cancel everybody for two weeks cause my knees had literally, both of them had blown up to the size of like small grapefruits. And I could not move, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t do anything. And my right hand, I used to have a picture, it looked like a baseball mitt, so swollen.
Andrea: 13:41 And it’s funny because everybody goes, wait, you have arthritis and you do massage, like you do all this active stuff? And I, my thought these years later, almost 10 years later now is that I think the bodywork has been my physical therapy and my mental therapy, because I had something to do, I had something to do and it was physical and I just wasn’t going to let it defeat me. Because with auto-immune, you were attacking your own self and I just wasn’t, I just mentally, I just couldn’t let it go, which is probably why I was on a hundred milligrams of prednisone because I needed to go to work otherwise I don’t know what I mentally would have done. And then I added the other two things because I thought I wouldn’t have much life left in my hands because of the RA.
Andrea: 14:53 So I added the esthetician and the Pilate, so now it’s like a multidimensional, it’s all wellness and they all feed into each other and it just all works. And I tell my clients, I don’t pretend, right. Most of these clients are 45 to 75 and some have autoimmune, some are age related, but it’s nice it’s like I accidentally specialized in people who have issues and people
Andrea: 15:40 who have even just age related issues like menopausal issues. And so where they don’t feel comfortable in their body and they get that. I get it, even though I’m just peri-menopausal right now. So it has strangely worked to my benefit to do all this. And for my mind it has worked. And there’s things I can’t do, but it doesn’t stop me. And it’s been cool to get feedback. Like clients will say Oh, you’re limping. And I’m like, hello, I’ve got RA. And they’ll often say, I forget that you, you’re just doing things. And, I have to say before I forget, I, after nine years in March, I no longer take prednisone. But it’s funny when I saw my rheumatologist yesterday I’d go over your list of medications, it’s like all of them.
Andrea: 16:46 I’m like, okay, well I don’t take that but I want to keep it on my list just in case. Okay, well I don’t take that but I want to keep it on my list just in case. Because insurance keeps taking away what we can have. So I don’t want to have to justify it later on, so I’m like keep it on my list. But yeah, that was huge. I had probably the last five or six years, been down to like five to seven milligrams a day and then I was getting around three to five and then one day I forgot to take it for three days. And I don’t know if you’ve taken prep, but you don’t forget to take it, Even if you forget, your body can’t walk, and will remind you to take it.
Andrea: 17:36 And it’s been crazy because it’s like PTSD of your condition. You can’t be fully, 100% happy. It’s like 80 or 90 cause you’re still waiting for that flair that you know has probably got to be on the horizon.
Nicole: Yeah. I think that regardless of what kind of chronic illness you have, even when you’re feeling good, you always know that it’s not if it’s when.
Andrea: And you know, when I go on forums, people go, you know, you people don’t understand and I don’t think most generally healthy people get that part. To me that’s the kind of mentally damaging part that even when you feel good, I’m always like, Oh, I feel good. Ooh, what’s going to happen? There must be something else that’s going to go wrong. And I think I’m pretty positive. Yesterday, like I said, I go to the doctor about my foot, now my foot’s better, but my thumb’s not. You know what I mean? Like there’s always something. And even though I say it’s always something, I still am positive
Andrea: 19:17 because I have struggled to maintain the perspective it can always be worse. Right. And I wouldn’t say I’m normally positive, but that summer that I was having that initial pain. I had two clients and I’m not religious, but I do spirituality and the universe, whatever you, and I’m really quick to go down the rabbit hole. If you know the rabbit, I think all of us know the rabbit hole. And that summer I had a lot of end of life clients of just different things. And I’ve never had another summer like that. So in my mind, I feel like that was the universe saying, just in case, right? So I had a woman who was end of life with MS and then I had a guy who was two years into his ALS diagnosis and I saw him every week from June to October. And by the time October came his assistant had to roll him in and we would put him on the massage table.
Andrea: 20:36 And both of them actually. She was dying and she would come in all made up with her makeup on. And we would do 30-minute sessions and she would say, I can’t really feel you, but I want to just remember. Right. And I remember just like how she would tell me how MS would work, she would essentially smother. And so I remember asking why do you come here with the makeup? And she’s like, what else? Like what else? Like if I can’t at least look good, what else do I have? Right.
Andrea: 21:29 And I thought that was so weird. As we do when we don’t have perspective. And then he was the same way. I started to hang out with him and we’d go to dinner and I would help him eat. And it’s one night and I took him back to his house and his mother and ex-mother-in-law were there. And he, same thing, I don’t know if it’s too explicit, but he would say he just wished he could have one more chance to masturbate.
Andrea: 22:02 He’d said, you just don’t appreciate. And I thought, Oh my God, like yeah, cause he couldn’t use his hands by that time. I know he just, he couldn’t feel, he couldn’t. He would have all these pills he would have to take. And it was just like, wow. Okay. And then two months later I’m diagnosed and I remember I kept going, well, you know, at least I can still do this. At least I could still do that. And I feel like, you know, sometimes people go, it’s not a competition. And I knew it wasn’t a competition, but I’m like, this sucks. I remember having to literally crawl on one knee because the other knee was so painful to go to the bathroom. And then having to kind of push myself up on the toilet and then sit there and yell to have my husband help me. Like this is my life. Right? Like two months ago I was walking and oblivious and now I’m crawling around my house on not even hands and knees because my hands and my wrist and knees don’t work. And it’s just that quickly with no rule book with no guidance,
Andrea: 23:32 everything changes. And it’s always been just a perspective to me that I’m glad they came into my life to show me. Even in the worst of it, you still have to find something, and so I think that’s what I’ve strived to always do. Not the like pretend smile, like I don’t do a pretend smile, but it could be worse. And even when it’s bad, I would say, well, not going to smother to death and everything probably is not going to shut down around me. Why, why, why? In my mind it’s still there.
Andrea: 24:18 And I mean, it has sucked. It has sucked so bad. But having that little bit of perspective and having those beautiful people who showed me that you can still live, even though your life is coming to an end, it just totally transformed what I know. If I did not have that kind of perspective, I think without them I would have been in a totally different place. So I’m forever grateful. I’m forever grateful and I didn’t appreciate it when I was with them. And, and then it really was when that awful little fellow was like, right, you plan on having children, it was like, Oh, okay. That day of diagnosis, whatever it is, it’s a distinctive before diagnosis and then after.
Nicole: 25:34 So you were an entrepreneur doing massage before you got sick and then obviously you had this transition where you had to reshape your business,
Nicole: 25:49 So what adaptations have you made in your business to accommodate your illness?
Andrea: 26:00 Well, like I said, I added the skincare because standing had been difficult cause I could shuffle around my table. And so I went to esthetician school and then when I thought using my hands would not be kosher, I did my Pilates training, which was kind of funny cause I at the time, well I am 4’11” regardless. But at the time I was at my heaviest, I was about 225-230 lbs. And so I was doing all these yoga training, the Pilates training like, I don’t want to skinny hate. So I’ll simply say more fit appearing women were so snotty to me, not knowing anything about me or my background, it was just like not coming round and right out and saying it, but it was like, well, the fat girl. Do you know what I mean?
Andrea: 27:17 I had never had it such continual dismissal of me based on just appearance as I did in my various yoga and Pilates training. And I always thought, and I still think it was twofold. It was, and these people are going to teach people to be comfortable about their body or wholly dismissing me with the once-over? Okay. And so I always would think so then if you’ve got somebody, so I guess if you’re not a size two, four, six. Okay. So the accommodations I made were the extra schooling that I took because I thought I would be fully disabled and I’m not yet. And then your accommodations would be to just make sure that on my website, everywhere, people know I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis and I explain what that is because somewhere along the line of, well-meaning but stupid statements because there are such things as stupid statements and questions, I decided I wasn’t going to hide, I wasn’t going to pretend, and then that way I wouldn’t have ignorant clients yeah.
Andrea: 29:09 And I have to say it totally changed how I do business. So if I find you offensive, like when a new client comes in and I get looks and I could hear it on phone, but I say we’ll do one session and then I’ll see if I like you and then you see if you like me because I’m not going to get stuck with some ignorant person who is like, “Oh well, I am trying to maybe lose weight” and I’m sure I don’t have to give you my whole list of whatever my issues are cause you either trust that I can help you or you go, but if you’re going to come in with an attitude based on looks and not ask me we’re not going to get on. So I think having this condition has made me an overall more confident and better person and a more confident and better entrepreneur. I know it’s strange. I feel like my acupuncturist would tell me, it was almost as if you were meant to get this. And I’m like, I get what you’re saying. But I will say it, I have found myself, I have found a strength that before that I only found doing drugs or alcohol.
Andrea: 30:39 And it’s weird to have had such a history of drugs and alcohol. And then yesterday I asked my doctor, I go, okay, look like I’m taking one Advil. I really don’t want to keep taking it. And then inside I’m laughing cause I’m like, Oh my God, all the drugs I did in my twenties and I’m all okay, I only want to take life one Advil, you know, you just change. But that’s the accommodations I make because I don’t want to deal with an ignorant person. And it’s really made me stand up for myself just across the board. And I had not,
Andrea: 31:26 really found that same strength before. It was always more reactive instead of just this internal, let me tell you what I get through every day to be here, so I’m not putting up with your BS. It’s like, how’d you not have to put up with this? Like I got my own body fighting against me. I don’t need to have you. I think that’s where I have found that happiness strangely. So like I said, I wish I could have found it without having this condition. But I mean, this is our journey, I guess.
Nicole: So what advice would you give somebody who’s living with chronic illness, who is thinking about becoming an entrepreneur?
Andrea: 32:27 Hmm. Do what you can. I was supposed to be doing these exercise videos but I’ve been really fatigued and can’t really exercise. And so I sit to myself sometimes like should I be doing exercise videos? Right? Like I have a condition and then I come around and I go, well yeah, because some days I have energy. So on those days I’ll record whatever amount I can and you know, put them in the can. So I guess I would say be realistic. But don’t use your condition as a reason to give up.
Nicole: 33:34 Yes.
Andrea: 33:35 You know, like I had a friend who has RA
Andrea: 33:48 and we’re all on our different journey. And I remember those times where I did withdraw cause you do, you have depression, you have anxiety, PTSD, all the things. And I did withdraw. I didn’t do anything social. I didn’t because I can move in the morning and then in the afternoon I can’t move. I was turning into that person who always had to cancel. But she would not, she would do the event and then suffer. And so I’d always think, well then why don’t you just cancel? And she said she didn’t want to cancel because she didn’t want to not stop living.
Andrea: 34:38 So I think you just have to find what’s really gonna work for you. Like for me, I’m not gonna agree to a social event that’s gonna drain me for the next week or two weeks. Right. If that’s how it had been back then, like I could stay out late and by late I mean six or seven. And I’m like, Oh my God. Do what you can do and give yourself a break if what you thought you could do doesn’t end up being what you can do. Cause there’s always tomorrow, in most cases there’s always tomorrow. And to be honest,
Andrea: 35:35 in some way, be honest with the people that you’re dealing with. And again, not so it’s an excuse, but so they understand. If you know in the morning you feel great and in the afternoon you can’t move or you know, you can’t type or you can’t go to the event because all of the 20 pairs of shoes that you have to accommodate. You know, I don’t even have to, I got like four different pairs of sneakers to accommodate whatever is going on with, I mean, the other day I wore a size eight on one foot and a size seven on the other foot because I buy the same style but different size.
Andrea: 36:23 You know what I mean? Get as much of an understanding of your condition and start to track what is your normal pattern, right? Like I used to be an evening person, now I’m not. So I changed my work schedule. I’m pretty good in the morning after five, not so much. Right. I would say get the pattern of your condition and then do something that allows you to be excellent in whatever window that your most excellent. Don’t do things that you have to do in the evening. If the evening is when you’re down. because you’re setting yourself up for failure or burnout and it’s not going to work. I think that would be my best advice. Like don’t give up on your dreams. I don’t think I could work for a company because I have, well I used to have too many days out. You know I also have migraines and that can be really defeating.
Andrea: 37:59 If you’re never able to accomplish your goals. But if you start small instead of this big grand thing and then work up to whatever it is, it also makes your soul feel bad or because you’ll have those accomplishments because you’re working within your zone.
Andrea: 38:28 Yeah, that would be my advice. Don’t necessarily go bigger. Go home, go small and work with what your body could do because your body can do amazing things, you know, even if it’s just an hour or two. Right. Don’t sign up to be a boxing coach if he’s got fibro. You know what I mean? What do you do currently? Yes. That’s what’s most important. And I think that’s that mental shift. So don’t talk about how you used to be able to work 12-hour shifts. You can’t work 12-hour shifts. So what can you do within your three or four hours of good time?
Andrea: 39:37 And I know for me, I had to start tracking where my energy was the best and it is not after five o’clock but definitely don’t give up. Don’t give up. Even if your body is failing you, there’s so much more available. Even just to, you know, I was walker shopping 10 years ago and I don’t need a walker now, so there’s so many things that can happen that can assist you to keep, keep you moving towards your, your dream. If I couldn’t be an entrepreneur, I have already said that it’s too late. I guess I would file for disability and give it up if I could have that. I don’t have another option because you know, if I have to cancel cause I’ve got a migraine or I’ve got a flare, it’s literally me laying in bed usually at five o’clock going, okay y’all, I’ve got a flare, I’ve got a migraine. I’m not making it because they all know and they’re like, whatever, honey, take care of yourself. Let me know if you need to cancel for tomorrow. There’s no shame because I’ve always been honest with them and letting them know, Hey, I’m good today. I’m usually good, but some days it’s not going to be, and if that’s going to be a problem then you might want to find someone else.
Andrea: 41:14 I know that’s hard. I know for a lot of people they want to maybe try to keep their condition private.
Nicole: I feel like there’s a line that you can walk between sharing about your condition
Nicole: 41:34 and keeping some things to yourself too. I feel like for me at least, I’m a virtual assistant and so I don’t necessarily disclose upfront that I have an illness, but I will share if it interferes with my ability to do their task or if I’m sick that day because the nature of my work doesn’t mean that I really need to because I’m not doing something super physical like you. So I feel like there’s a line there and I feel like it’s such a personal thing too. Wouldn’t you agree?
Andrea: 42:10 For sure. Yeah. Do you do, now I’m not to interview you, but I mean do you work on deadlines or?
Nicole: 42:19 We do. I mean, we work on deadlines for sure, but as long as I get things done before the deadline, it doesn’t matter when I’m doing it or how I’m doing it. And that’s the way I’ve set up my business so that it’s not a big deal.
Andrea: 42:30 So it accommodates you around your condition. You get to work with your condition instead of doing something that’s totally gonna maybe not be the best thing for you and your condition and or the progression of your condition. I mean, I think we all have some things that progress or may not progress, right? Yeah. For me, cause I’m one on one with my people I had to, but if I were a virtual that would be amazing because there’s at least some time during the 24-hour cycle where most days that I can get stuff done. And that’s what I’m trying to eventually do is to shift to online. Not that I mind. I love my people and I don’t mind what I do, but I definitely, you know, I’ll be 46 this year and that’s not old, but I just,
Andrea: 43:41 you know, there’d be some days where I just did arrange my work schedule now so I don’t get up extremely early and work extremely late. And that was scary because I had been a 12 hour type of person. But now I have more energy because I’m not working 12 – 14-hour days. And everybody, well not everybody, some people were mad but whatever, and that showed me again. So I just would hate for somebody to have a condition and not follow through with their dream because of the condition. Yes. That would be sad. I’m going on my first international trip in 17 years this fall because I haven’t gone because of my condition.
Andrea: 44:50 And I have a client who has MS pretty advanced and then just got told she has some kind of cancer, it’s off. So we’re talking on Monday. So I said, this is the first time I’ve gone. And she’s like, I want to know everything about your trip because she’s afraid to travel. I mean, I was afraid. I was afraid because it was on a trip where on my way back from this trip, I couldn’t put anything overhead. I couldn’t. And I was so ashamed and I remember feeling ashamed and embarrassed that my arm didn’t work and that weird. And I told her, I said, it’s funny, I’m going on this trip.
Andrea: 45:40 Like I’m going, I’ve paid, I upgraded, you know, I’m going first-class, so they’re going to have a bed because I can’t sit for 12 hours and then try to move after. Like that’s not going to happen. And I’ve got nice hotels not to have nice hotels, but in case I can’t move, I want to be, I could have somebody bring me food. And it was so amazing to talk to somebody who, like both of us were sitting at my center. When I say I’m flying first-class or I’ve got these eyes that tells me and I’m like, no, it’s because I’m broken and I have no shame in that broken.
Andrea: 46:40 So I have waited and saved because the first thing I thought when I got this diagnosis was that I’ll never be able to travel again. And I loved traveling. And so it’s the same thing for being an entrepreneur or having your own business. Like that’s that pre goal that doesn’t have to go just past to shift, right? Like if you always wanted to have your business, but then you’ve got whatever, some auto-immune and things aren’t the same and you’re stuck in the, well I used to, you could be on that use to treadmill forever. At some point it has to get to, okay, well this is what I used to do, but this is what I’m able to do. And it starts to be where that used to doesn’t even become part of your vocabulary. And that’s what I started to do when I would in my head, girl are used to and okay, then I go, okay.
Andrea: 47:52 So I used to have a list in my bathroom of like, okay, but what am I able to do? I love that because your mind only goes to the places that you tell it to go. So if you’re constantly talking about what you used to do before your diagnosis, you’re never gonna move forward. And so now it’s like I’m trained positive. When I hear a client go, I used to, I’m on automatically out of my mouth. It’s like, okay, well I used to… You know what I mean? What do you currently do, you know, and that’s the thing. It’s like, okay, I couldn’t fly by Amy. I could have, but I was afraid. Um, you know, cause I didn’t want to flare up either way. I thought, Oh my God, there’s so much walking you have to do.
Andrea: 48:45 So that’s what I mean to this start small, if you started thinking about all the big, it’s okay, you’re just going to give up. But if you just think, okay, well here’s the little things I can do and you start asking yourself better questions, you know? So if you say, well, I used to want to do this. And like you said, well you’re a virtual assistant so you can do, cause that’s what you’re able to do. When you start focusing on what you can do, it’s like better questions come. So instead of, Oh, I used to be, well here’s what I can, and then, okay, well these are things I can do. And now what things can support that and still make me an entrepreneur and be able to have my own business. But you can’t get there if you’re still stuck, you know, over here.
Andrea: 49:52 So I think that’s the most important. If you’re, if you want, if you used to want to be an entrepreneur than be an entrepreneur but be an entrepreneur who can look at what you’re able to do and then be adjustable. Because if you’re only focusing on what you use to do with the body that you used to have with the mind and the thought, then you use, it’s not gonna work. I never thought I would be gliding instructor [inaudible] and that wasn’t even on my radar, like, yeah. But I think, well it fits and it works and it’s amazing. And I ha I accidentally found my passion.
Nicole: 50:43 So before we wrap up, is there anything that I should have asked but didn’t?
Andrea Wow. You didn’t ask my pant size, which is awesome. Um, no. Thank you for having me on because as you know, it’s been a weird journey and I always tell people, but that is life, right? Like if everything were predictable, how kind of boring would that be? Again, I don’t necessarily need this level of unpredictability, but I think, I hate to say, I don’t hate to say, but having a ridiculously painful chronic condition has made me a better person strangely enough, have more empathy. I care more deeply
Andrea: 51:58 it has made me a better person, like strangely enough because not that I didn’t care, I always have volunteered and all that, you know, since I was like 13. But when you have such tremendous pain and you can still wake up and you can go outside and you can appreciate the blue skies and the green grass and the smell the sky makes before lightning, I start to appreciate what I have instead of what I don’t have, because I don’t have it. So why am I focused on it? For years, and I mean I remember I had these six inch heels and I refused to take them out of the closet and it took about four years before I realized I had to throw or give away all of my shoes because I was stuck in, used to.
Andrea: 53:16 And I think some of us get stuck. If we have partners, I think it’s sometimes difficult living with a person with chronic pain because you don’t know how to best support them. Yes. Do you cuddle? Do you understand? But can it be to understanding so that we never grow? I think a partner is maybe a little stuck. So unless we find some inner something, it’s really easy to stay stuck and it’s so I love that you have this because I know when I was looking, it’s so easy to find all the forums where everybody just complained.
Nicole: Yes it is.
Andrea: I remember looking after while going, okay, where are the people who have conditions but are still living? So I’m really glad that you’re here and that you have this, because if you’re stuck it’s nice to see what’s over the rainbow, right?
Andrea: 54:52 Like, Oh wait, they have set. And you can still be negative. Like I’ve totally run into those people too. I’ve had people who have RA and who come in all snarky at me, they’re like, Oh, well I’m not able to. Okay. You know, I just announced that I have it because you have it. Like I was simply, I don’t need to share whatever it is, you know? But I think for people who want to know that there’s life, that there’s still a life to be had, even though you have whatever it is with chronic pain with these weird outlooks, I think it’s amazing that you’re here and you have what you have and you showcase that you can still live productive lives on your own terms. And I think that’s important to have that presence. So not so much a question for me, but more of a thank you for being here. Thank you for showing that. Like, it sucks, whatever it is that we have, but you don’t have to give up your dreams and you don’t have to give up living. You just have to adjust the life you thought you were going to have, but you still have a life. It should be a life that is well lived just with adjustments and maybe not as cute shoes.
Nicole: 56:31 I had that pair of shoes too.
Andrea: But to their credit though, they have been making tutor orthopedic friendly shoe. It’s not like from the 80s where it was, there was the two Velcro straps come a long way. But I thank you. This is, I’m glad you’re here. When I was it I was like, positivity. This is awesome! I’m all for it. So easy to go down the rabbit hole, you know, I don’t need a friend in the rabbit hole. I need somebody at the top going. Okay. That’s enough of that.
Nicole: Yes. Absolutely. So, Andrea, where can we find you on the Internet?
Andrea: Oh, on the interwebs. Well, I’ll give out my Instagram. I have two @thatandreakane or @getpilotesstrong it’s all motivational stuff on either side.
Nicole: 57:47 @thatandreakane, you know, I have a business podcasts and kind of motivational for people who are trying to start a wellness business and then pilates strong is on the other side. Mostly pull out these functional fitness and health at every size type of motivation.
Nicole: This has been an amazing conversation. I can’t wait for everybody to hear it.
Andrea: Oh, thank you. I do. I thank you for having me.
Nicole: And again, thank you for being here.
Andrea: You need more, more Spoonie positives instead of all the complaints. The complaints are valid, but we have to be able to move on and start living.
Nicole: So true. All right, well
Nicole: 58:38 thank you so much for being on the podcast today. Thank you so much for listening to the Spooniepreneur Podcast. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, recommend, rate and review on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. To find show notes and to get connected to our community of Spooniepreneurs go to http://www.theresilientva.com thanks for listening and we’ll see you next week.